How To Navigate Co-Parenting During Your First Post-Separation Holiday

Law Blog

The holidays can be difficult for ex-partners who are co-parenting. Both parties may want to spend time together with the kids during holidays, such as birthdays, Christmas Day and New Year's Day. It's vital to create a plan that will account for the interests of both the parents and the kids. With this in mind, here are a few tips to help you navigate co-parenting during your first post-divorce or post-separation holiday.

Define each party's essential holidays

People approach various holidays differently. You may have a special attachment to Labour Day, but to your ex-partner, it is just another weekend. Thus, when co-parenting, it's crucial to define each party's essential holidays. Does one party value Easter more than the other? If so, it would be great to allow that person to celebrate that time of the year with the kids. Where both parents have attachments to a particular holiday, you can adopt the following measures:

• Split the holidays between both parents, especially with holidays such as Christmas and New Year's Day
• Swap the holidays every year
• Schedule special holidays, such as birthdays, on alternate days

For parents who live in the same state, splitting the holidays would be an excellent choice. However, if the parents live far away from each other, swapping holidays each year would be the ideal choice. 

Create a holiday parenting plan

Your regular parenting agreement may not provide details on how to approach these seasons. Therefore, as you approach your first post-separation holiday, it's vital to come up with a parenting plan that outlines parenting rights and responsibilities during specific holidays. A written plan ensures both parties adhere to the terms of the contract. Remember to create a flexible agreement that allows room for amicable negotiations and special requests. For example, one party may wish to change holiday arrangements due to unforeseen issues, such as work or sickness.

Address boundaries and concerns

Are there any boundaries you would like to establish before the holidays? It's crucial to discuss and outline such boundaries and concerns in your holiday parenting agreement. Below are a few issues you may need to address in your co-parenting plan:

• Child participation in religious activities during religious holidays
• Visits to and from in-laws, friends and relatives that one party isn't on good terms with
• Interactions with your ex's new partner during family holidays
• Gifting expectations and concerns, for example, the type and value of gifts

The above issues can cause unnecessary friction between co-parents and ruin the holidays for both parties. Therefore, set clear guidelines to avoid disputes between you and your ex.

Consider these co-parenting tips as you approach your first holiday after separation or divorce. Consult a family law firm if you need help navigating the process.

21 October 2021