Divorce is often a complicated and painful process, but it's sometimes necessary. After separating from your partner, you often need to figure out what's next. With the high cost of divorce and the reality of your new financial situation, it might make sense to continue living under the same roof with your former partner.
Having an ongoing mortgage or caring for children from your marriage are often compelling reasons for you and your former spouse to continue living in the same home. Australian family law still recognises a divorce as valid even if you're living under the same roof with your former partner. But as you can imagine, making this arrangement work can be difficult.
If financial and family obligations make living together the best option for you, here's how you can make it work.
1. Understand that it's an emotional journey
The first step is to always remember that you're living together out of necessity and in order to plan for your future. You may also make this decision for the sake of your children; to provide a stable environment for them to grow.
Keep in mind that you're likely to experience challenges along the way, including scrutiny from friends and family. You may also harbour bitter feelings regarding the divorce during the first few months. However, you should remain motivated by your goals. Remind yourself that the marriage is over but you're planning a future for yourself and your kids.
2. Prepare a financial plan
With the help of a family lawyer, you and your spouse should find common ground in preparing a financial plan. Write down all bills that need to be paid and the expenses of your children. You can then develop a financial plan that your lawyer can review for any legal issues.
If you underwent a divorce settlement in court, use the judge's guidelines to develop financial responsibilities for each partner.
3. Develop a co-parenting plan
Remaining under the same roof is a good starting step to creating minimal disruption for your children. The next step is to determine who will care for the kids and when. Prepare a schedule for taking the kids to school, babysitting and helping with other necessary obligations.
4. Respect each other's boundaries
As former partners, you may wish to establish boundaries that contribute to a less stressful experience. For example, you may both agree not to bring other partners to the home or not to discuss matters about your personal love lives. Establish relevant boundaries to avoid unnecessary tension in this new arrangement.
For more information or assistance, contact a family law solicitor.
Share28 December 2018
I work as a counsellor for couples going through a divorce. Obviously this is an emotional time and it is often a miracle that I manage to coax the former partners into the same room. There are two themes which occur regularly in my work. The first is that my clients often confess to throwing plates at each other. The second is the amount of money the divorce is costing because they cannot come to an agreement. Over the years, I have learnt that satisfied divorcees spend more time getting legal advice and making sound financial decisions than throwing crockery. In the course of my work, I have gained a considerable understanding of legal issues related to divorce. I share this blog in the hope that this knowledge will help you make sound decisions that lead to future happiness. I wish you all the best.